My LiiFE!!!

           If love could kill, than I guess i’m dead. Shot by his bullet, and it seems I cant stop this bleeding. My heart isn’t mine anymore. It’s in his hands and he is toying with it. He doesn’t even know how he got it, but he keeps it in a safe and i can’t feel a thing unless i see him. With him I can truly love and it’s unconditional. He looks me in the eyes and sees straight to my soul, and can see my thoughts. And I look in his eyes and i see my reflection. He is only thinking of me at that moment. And I, the same. I will love my man with all my heart.

                                                                                -Jane Mataese ;)

If love could kill, than I guess I’m dead. Shot by his bullet, and it seems I cant this bleeding. My heart isn’t mine anymore. It’s in his hands and he is toying with it.

No matter the looks.

Dont let it deceive you.

When I look happy it may not tell you my whole story.

What lies beneath are plenty of insecurites that even a psychologist can NEVER understand.

Words cant describe these emotions that ruin my life.

Tortured souls, I understand and feel your pain.

People cant help you , if you truly dont want it. I want it, but I have to find it on my own.

With Gods help I can do everything in this world and tenfold. It takes alot to even get on your knees to ask. I ask and he answers in mysterious ways that I may not notice but these insecurities will go AWAY no matter what people say.

I just gotta keep doing me and loving myself before loving anyone else.

Life is beautiful, life is unique. Life is only something you can keep. If lost, it cant be found. So turn that frown upside down and live life with God and all things WILL get better. :)

Time is all we have, so lets make memories.

Memories to last a lifetime and more.

Lets make history together for our future generation.

History for all ages to look back on and see.

When things are lost, you seem to forget.

I dont want to ever forget the time we spent together.

No matter through space and time our love will make history.

Absorbing your love and I’m still clueless as to how I feel about you.
When I look back on who I was I feel you still don’t know me.
Even going through trials and tribulations with you i feel i can never know you.
These habits I have, offend you but you still look after me.
The things I hear about you scare me but make me love you more.
How your praises always seem to slip my mind, but you never let me slip yours.
When you look at me from above you, see all my flaws and it never stops your love.

For Grandma
Worlds apart, ages untold.
I never got to hold you. My arms are empty
And so is a part of my heart.
Mom cried and tried to get to you.
We love and care for you.
They put you with the earth without us all seeing you.
Mom hasn’t seen you since she left Samoa.
My heart hurt just thinking about it.
How you left us, what your last words were.
What was going on through your mind when we called and talked to you?
Did you love us even when we couldn’t be with you?
Did you know you were leaving soon?
Words can’t even scratch the surface of my emotions for you.
I’m not over, nor do I think I can get over it.
You gave me reasons to find out about my family.
I wanted to ask you about ancient folk tales of our people.
I wanted to talk to you about things every girl could talk to her Grandmother about.
I just wish I grew up with you and Grandfather in Samoa that way
I could’ve said goodbye when you left us, and tell you what you mean to me.
I didn’t even get to hug or kiss even once I can’t even hold you.
I didn’t get to see you with my own two eyes let alone get to hear your voice.
Its exhausting thinking about our lives in a different light, I hope you enjoyed the life you lived.
My eyes won’t stop hurting from all the crying I did just thinking about this.
I hope we all make it to heaven so we can all rejoice and sing and love God and Jesus the way they want us to.
“Mama Ea Lou Tina, o oe le fua Rosa! E tumau pea lea alofa, I lou olaga atoa.”
Grandmother you are the beats that make my heart stable and controlled
You are the beautiful music that greets my ears
You are my strength that keeps me going.
You are the warmth that keeps me alive.
You are the everlasting flame in my soul that helps me strive for my dream.
I love you Grandmother, I want you to know that.
There is always a special place for you in my mind, soul, and heart.
You will never be forgotten.
Sunrise 11/23/1926 Sunset 11/22/2011
R.I.Love Grandma Lamana Satui

Depression kills so I write and this is one of my creations lol tell me if you like it:

For You

There are many things that attracted me to you.

Your style and your smile drive me wild.

When I’m able to make you smile, it makes my life worth while.

Seeing you makes life easier to bare.

You lift heave loads I carry with just one touch.

It’s crazy how quickly I’ve fallen you.

You make me weak in so many ways.

There are just countless things that attracted me to you.

And the first are all your flaws.